Week 34.

Going backwards and trying to make sense of these random sentences will be interesting. Until then, these glimpses only reveal a debate.

Change?

Mid-morning.

Sometimes I get up and say, "Today I am going to do (insert something to get done here)". Then I jump back into bed, turn on the T.V. and throw in a DVD. Thank goodness for breakfast in bed.

Lyrics of the morning: Everclear -- I will buy you a new life

I hate those people who love to tell you

Money is the root of all that kills

They have never been poor

They have never had the joy of a welfare christmas

Here's a toast to all those who hear me all to well.

Friday, weekend and recharging.

Semi-new apartments & transitions.

"I have this friend" who moved into an apartment in February. It is a great place, but because of his work situation and that his previous apartment was furnished, he did not have any furniture to move in and was not in a position to spend the couple thousand dollars necessary to really make the place livable.

Around the beginning of the summer, things started picking back up in his life and for a period of time he went back to the way he dealt with issues as he did in his previous life. See, my friend did o.k. a few years back, but some bad moves resulted in him losing his job and some bad investments resulted in him having to start over. Transitions are not always easy and when things start looking good, it is easy to go back to old habits. As the summer picked up he called an interior designer and she made some recommendations.

After a few conversations with his friends, he realized this was probably not the best move. So he backed out of the decorating plan and made a summer out of crashing at his friend's places.

Transitions. In many ways I can relate to my friend, because I realize that making change is not always easy. Especially when you are weighing the pros and cons of doing something, spending money, moving, etc. But in the end, sometimes it is best to let go. Yes, many things have an element of calculation, but when you have the breathing room, make the jump. Life is short. It is easy to let fear (trying to avoid another mistake) cloud your perception. Learn from your mistakes, adapt.

My friend is finally furnishing his apartment next week. His place is now semi-new.

Organization.

8 hours to file, process and report information; the daily process of delivering ideas are really efforts in presentation. How to convey ideas. The key player being the organization of information and allowing this structure to be recognized by others. I prefer more words than less.

Song of the morning: Weezer: The Other Way

Messages.

Somethings are easier to say. Some harder. Whether they are easy to understand or not, hold on to what mattered.

Caught.

I don't admit it, but I enjoy tired expressions, cliches and other overused concepts. We all do, but the special value I find in them is that they often have a way of capturing our moments. Again, not profound because this is root to their definition.

Luck.

I believe we make our own luck. And when faced with situations of peril, drama or other controversy, we are drawn to our roots, our strengths. We are not saved by chaos, but by our faith.

And as today, I face circumstance, I continue my steadfast determination.

Carpe Diem, seize the day.

What's next?

Of course there is uncertainty. The difference is in how we handle events, where we take ourselves, the places we go, the choices make. Our stands, our triumphs, our defeats and our struggles.

I struggle with fear sometimes. I guess we all do. But my determination and inspiration is everything that is beautiful, remarkable and that I have come to value. Never give up.

Paperwork.

File, process and sort.

Any way you want it.

It is that simple. I am as much as an authority as anyone else on negative circumstance, but perseverance is a mindset; you accept it and you move forward. We can spend all this time analyzing why things went the wrong way and how horrible it was, or we can spend all this time focusing on what will come next.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

--T.R.

I would only add . . . all with a smile on your face.

It is up to you.

The Cure.

Pictures of you.

Projection.

Karma, positive thoughts, perseverance; if we look at things from the vantage point of achievement, then in the end, we will be successful. Failing this, we surround ourselves with a negativity which permeates our words, thoughts and actions.

Hidden Messages.

In a glance, I am reminded of why it is important to look at things from the best viewpoint, than the contrary. Although this tenet is not new, it reminds me of all the reasons I am so confident in my feelings and hope that this clarity can always find its way to your own perspectives. I always comment on why such thoughts can provoke sentiments of affection; understand why.

Kwaito.

I have been learning about Kwaito on NPR this week.

On fashion.

My mother told me when I was a child, "The way you look people treat you". In different phases of my life I have taken this to heart, sometimes trying to embody her thoughts, othertimes holding a disdain towards convention and style. Although there is room on both sides of the debate, I believe without going overboard, being congnizant of apperance and striving for basic presenation is a good thing. Casual Friday, however, has gone too far. . .(more text here).

Less intense.

Maybe this way we will notice things that would have otherwise gone unnoticed. Unlearning a lifetime of habits is not exactly easy, however I expect that these changes may allow the chance to appreciate what we have always managed to take for granted. Things may appear chaotic, but I am quite certain about how we are going to get there.

Vive le Lance.

Lance Armstrong has ended his career with a spectacular 7th consecutive Tour de France victory. There are so many things that are amazing about this feat, many things which will be more written more elegantly than i can write here, but for me, this victory is inspirational and one that will be hard to forget. Cancer, allegations, personal difficulties, pressure; Lance has overcome all of these things, year and year again, to captivate our imaginations.

Reactions.

Revealing. You can feel pressure to do something, catch yourself, but meanwhile the world is frozen in expectation. Sometimes you confront, sometimes you don't. It is not wrong or right, just your choice. But the reactions of those around you reveal.

Mid-Way

2nd half of the year has begun. The charge begins, again. Have alluded to it before, but now we are well on the path to making the progress that has been missing. No more time for past complication, past questioning and those that fail to see things we have tried to say. There just comes a point where you move forward and perhaps they will say something that implies they have heard you or they wont.