Change.

"Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others."

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Parents.

There is no escaping their impact. They form and guide us. No matter how different we end up, these teachings define us. For all that is great about us, we are indebted to the lectures, hugs, chats and all those memories.

Next steps.

A new year almost upon us, we can't help but look back. I can't keep up with all the notes, but we return to some old ones. Indeed people can leave fingerprints on our lives and somewhere we are changed. Thinking about those moments, in ways we can describe or ways we cannot, we see things as they are . . . what do we do with this? What do we cherish and what do we fight to preserve? What we do in the dark, matters much more than what we do in the light. If something is important, we make all involved realize this.

Me, quit? Never.

What is it which sets apart the high accomplishment of our heros? Is it their commitment? Their experiences? Some yet unknown gene? The food they eat? The books they read?

Whatever their inspiration, their lesson is what they give. They remind us of determination. Of hope. Or maybe they motivate us to where we can aspire.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines character as "the qualities distinctive to an individual." Somewhere may we make these are own.

-The Foundation For A Better Life.

Surprise.

This happens sometimes. You smile and you think to yourself, "this is why I do these things".

Sometimes our instincts our wrong. Other times we surprise ourselves. And even when we don't, it feels great to believe in something or someone -- this thought we cannot prove. At least for now. . .

Finally, to those moments when the words just do not flow elegantly.

Why they matter.

"The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages are perpetuated by quotations."

-Benjamin Disraeli.

Someday soon (thumbs up).

"When all this is over, I'm going down to Sam and Harry's. I'm gonna order a big steak and I'm gonna make a list of everyone who tried to fuck with us this week."

-The American President.

Sellouts.

There are few things I cannot forgive. This is among them.

The World Has Turned And Left Me Here.

Weezer.

Rejuvenation.

Some new public policy? There are many significant initiatives, but why does there seem to be growing separation in measured success? Perhaps it is warranted to take a radical departure in our approach; these measures are not making the impact we need, particularly in education and poverty.

I am compelled to believe that the solution lies in escaping examining situations from opposing extremes. Liberalism vs. Conservatism, assistance vs. self-reliance. A third way? How do we escape rhetoric as to arrive to a new approach?

Perspective.

"There are no facts, only interpretations."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

I definitely do not agree, but there is room for perspective.

I should say.

The words do not always flow in ways I would like; sometimes I am quiet. What I should say is that despite what has been written and spoken, I am looking to get past complication -- how do we get there? Wherever that leads is where it leads, but I am not trying to force a conclusion or have an expectation met. These little things: notes, lists, and messages, are meaningful to me, regardless of context.

I don't want to force you to say something you rather not, so listen as you do not have to respond, "I miss you." This time listen to the song and hear the lyrics I did not write.

It's true I think about this often and that is probably more obvious than I would like it to be.

Old thoughts, applicable today.

President Bush defends the use of wiretaps without warrants.

For my thoughts on this, I turn to the past . . .

"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."

-Benjamin Franklin.

Men.

"The boy who is going to make a great man must not make up his mind merely to overcome a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats."

Again, Theodore Roosevelt.

What's next?

Silently mouthing lyrics. Mini-dances in the car, train, subway or walk. Music. Playing songs over and over again. These are mine.

A laugh. A look. Painted nails and pants that are too long? These are yours.

The ferry. The classic pre-theatre dinner. Messy apartments. Bad glasses. Remembering a scent or sparkles left behind. These are ours.

Cocktails and Dreams.

I am the last barman poet / I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make / Americans getting stinky on something I stir or shake / The sex on the beach / The schnapps made from peach / The velvet hammer / The alabama slammer. / I make things with juice and froth / The pink squirrel / The 3-toed sloth. / I make drinks so sweat and snazzy / The iced tea / The kamakazi / The orgasm / The death spasm / The Singapore sling / The dingaling. / America you've just been devoted to every flavor I got / But if you want to got loaded / Why don't you just order a shot? / Bar is open.

-Cocktail.

Somewhere in between Washington and New York City.

Rainy nights in New York sometime have a way of putting distant thoughts together. The lights? The buildings? The people? Maybe it is just walking along the streets and thinking about things. Thoughts you have been avoiding can suddenly become clear -- with keystrokes, phone call or conditioned sentiment, taking action avoided for too long.

No more excuses. No more delay.

Drawing inspiration from places where it is warranted, realizing where value exists and choosing to focus where it is deserved. Trusting your instincts and making the most of situations that others would avoid. Empathy and belief -- faith and looking and searching for intent and purpose.

Perhaps this is saying the "right things". Nonetheless, it is what I believe and this is most important.

As we look for the best in people, indeed selflessness and consideration exemplify this. I also believe in redemption; to this these thoughts are conceived.

To understand who we are, we reflect from where we have come, but focus on where we will go and thus who we will become.

Thanks to all those that think the same way . . . and to those opposed, don't be so cynical.

Your eyes.

As We Said Our Goodbyes,

I Can't Get Them Out Of My Mind,

And I Find I Can't Hide From,

Your Eyes.

The Ones That Took Me By Surprise,

The Night You Came Into My Life,

Where There's Moonlight,

I See Your Eyes

How'd I Let You Slip Away,

When I'm Longing So To Hold You,

Now I'd Die For One More Day,

'Cause There's Something I Should Have Told You

Yes There's Something I Should Have Told You

When I Looked Into Your Eyes,

Why Does Distance Make Us Wise?

You Were The Song All Along . . .

- Rent

Taking notice.

Quiet things we do not mention? Glances we pretend not to see? Unique things we convey or withhold?

Whichever way, it all matters. And even if you have no context or are otherwise unsure of what I mean, know that the summation is thought directed towards something that someone finds worth recalling -- here, there or in memory.

Opportunity and making it happen.

There is that moment before achievement where you feel “yes, I’ve got it”. Here struggle is removed; all the hard work, waiting and effort culminates and you succeed. Even if this moment is not yours, watching this somewhere else reminds you of your own moments. Congrats old friend on Drexel Law.

Future.

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.

-George Bernard Shaw

Wednesday morning.

A few days before the weekend, somewhere in between my walk through the common, the Chinese gentlemen I pass every morning (as I wonder with continued conjecture as to their conversation), my morning jog (which I have skipped this week because of the cold and lack of a running partner to help me keep my ritual) and a review of the previous night's thoughts, I walk into Starbucks, order my CM, sit down, glance over the New York Times and just watch everyone else participate in their own Wednesday morning schedules.

I like to call it "mice getting cheese". We are the mice, running around to get our food. The pattern, the cycle . . . not that I am criticizing, just questioning. Among other thoughts: am I right, am I wrong, am I crazy or otherwise misdirected? Don't answer that.

Unique? We all are. What we do with it – this is what matters.

I am going to skip Starbucks tomorrow morning.

Meeting adjourned.

Again, just because.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

-Theodore Roosevelt, Speech at the Sorbonne

Finishing touches.

This project has been over one year in the making and seeing it come to conclusion has certainly been a task. Taking the little blurbs, notes, postings and thoughts about characters or scenes, compiling research and turning fiction to reality and somewhere in between has not been easy at all -- much more difficult than I originally anticipated.

Our thoughts do not always follow familiar patterns. Writing is very much like this.

I have talked about this novel for so long and now that it is almost complete, I think about how much it has changed and begin thinking about how much I have changed with it. There is some vanity in writing; will the author in the mirror be the author we see?

One more thing: “The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give. “ – Eleanor Roosevelt. Our work, novels, friends, hearts – so be it.

Faith.

A life consistent with ideals, making the most of each moment and to live without regret.

The most powerful beliefs are those we have no evidence of.